Examine reveals snow leopards lead solitary existence as a result of they’re conceited bastards who suppose they’re higher than everybody else

Illustration for article titled Study Finds Snow Leopards lead a lonely lifestyle because they are arrogant bastards who think they are better than everyone else

PITTSBURGH – Carnegie Mellon University researchers published a study Monday that found that snow leopards avoid behaving socially because they are arrogant bastards who believe they are better than everyone else. “To our knowledge, snow leopards live mostly in mountainous terrain just so they can look down on everyone else from their high place,” said Professor James York, adding that he and his team of zoologists are members of the Panthera uncia species “Total Assholes” as they ruled their apex predator status over any other animal in their Central Asian habitat. “It’s unclear when snow leopards developed this trait, but there is evidence that the keeping may be due to feelings of insecurity over their small heads and large black spots that a rival species may once have made fun of. What we do know is that they are really difficult to be around and mostly communicate with each other through derogatory chuffs and grunts. In all fairness, take a look at a picture of one – you can tell by their eyes that they think they’re hot shit. “The study builds on related research published last year in which biologists confirmed that sea lions will dive to depths greater than 300 meters to escape the sound of their voice.

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